hmmm......

I am not one to adapt to change unless it is gradual and i know it is coming. I am slowly coming around to the idea of having a child. I have gotten to the stage of planning the babies room and how many people to invite to the baby shower. Now I have to find insurance, make sure we can at least make the premiums. It's stressful for me to decide on an insurance company. Sorry all, I live a life the is not 9-5 and has benefits. We have to seek it out. Babies change a life. Am I keen on it, not really. But everybody says there is no preparing, you just have to do it. Yeah, that like telling the united states we aren't in debt and don't owe anybody anything. Not so much. I come from a life where people have a way of thinking for the most part. There is a sequence of events that happens in life. School, graduation, job, marriage, family/career. I love my life. I have never been a social person. So to be at home and not have to talk to anybody except family or husband is fantastic. I am bombarded with constant want and need. To not have that for just one day is super. To have a baby will be different. I will want to heed to there every need and want. I do it for the most part with my nephew. I do things in my own time. Eventually I get there. I bristle at attempts to coax me on. This is how I have always lived my life. I think God wouldn't have it any less. He has never prompted me to force my way forward. Things come around as they should and there is always good standing afterwards. I wait things out and always turnout well for me and others.